Boundaries
by Eden Lies
Summary: Severus Snape comes across the Resurrection Stone one evening, in Dumbledore's office. Nearly twenty years after her death, Lily has one final conversation with Severus. Set sometime during HBP, prior to Dumbledore's death. Oneshot.


Hello, everyone, I'm back with another Harry Potter oneshot. This one, once again, happens to be Snape-centric, and was written under the premise that Snape managed to get a hold of the Resurrection Stone just once, before Dumbledore hid it away in the snitch. This fic takes place sometime during the course of HBP, as I'm assuming Dumbledore had the Resurrection Stone in his possession before he died. In case it isn't clear enough, this is written in Snape's P.O.V.

Pairing: Lily/Snape, kind of.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter. Neither the books nor the movies are mine.

Warnings: angst, and un-beta'd goodness.

* * *

><p><strong>Boundaries<strong>

_By Eden Lies_

* * *

><p>I have been summoned to the headmaster's office.<p>

Even as I utter the password and make my way past sentinel stone gargoyles, I feel dread consume me like quicksand. What could it be that the headmaster had wanted to discuss with me? Was his curse, perhaps, spreading more quickly then we anticipated?

Much to my surprise, when I enter the office it is completely empty, save for the old, bedraggled phoenix sitting wearily on it's perch. Albus is nowhere to be seen. I furrow my brows in confusion. If he had wanted an urgent meeting with me, why is he not here?

I walk up the steps and to the headmaster's desk, searching for a note or a message, of some sort. There are no messages addressed to me, but on the desk lie all the other usual trinkets. Tom Riddle's destroyed diary, some notices from the Order, and a bowl of lemon drops. Seeing nothing of interest, I begin to turn away from the desk. It is only when I am moving away from the desk that two peculiar items catch my eye.

One of the items I immediately recognize: a snitch. I question briefly why Albus has one here in his office, but I make no move to pick it up. The second item is of more interest to me. At first glance it appears to be a simple, finely cut stone, but even standing where I am I can feel the power radiating from the stone's very core.

I debate taking a closer look at it. I have always been one for respecting boundaries and respecting the property of another. I understand the human need for privacy and solitude. I knew someone, once upon a time, who made it his business to push past the boundaries and privacies of others just to get a good laugh. Boundaries were always nonexistant to James Potter, the golden boy. I dislike the thought of even falling into his pattern of behavior. But still, irregardless of James Potter's behavioral pattern, I find curiosity getting the better of me.

I pick up the stone and turn it twice in my hands. _It's sleek cut really does catch the light_, I think to myself distractedly.

All of a sudden, I sense another presence in the room. I look up expectantly, ready to berate Albus for being late to his own meeting, but my half-formed words die suddenly in my throat.

Albus is nowhere to be found.

but in front of me, right in front of me, stands Lily.

I must be hallucinating, driven mad by a grief long held in check. She can't be here, not now. She has been dead for nearly twenty years. I stumble backwards and catch myself on the edge of the desk with one hand; the other hand clenches the stone into a vice-like grip.

"Severus?" Lily says, "are you alright?"

I right myself and step away slightly from the desk, still staring at my hallucination or dream-Lily. I am trembling. Despite the trembling, despite the sudden wave of emotion threatening to conquer me, I manage to answer her.

"Y-yes," I stutter, "I am completely fine."

I have a million questions running through my head.

_What is this? How is this possible? Are you really here? How can you ever forgive me?_

"What...why..h-how?" In my urgency, my question comes out unfinished and completely jumbled.

"Shh, Severus. Calm down. You can ask me one question at a time." She smiles gently at me, emerald eyes shining. "Don't you worry, Severus, because I'll be here as long as you want."

I am not usually a man prone to acting upon or evealing my emotions to others, but this is too much. Seeing her, it's as joyous as it is painful. I am unsure that I can keep myself composed. This is absolutely too much, there are so many things I have to say to her-

"I'm sorry!" I blurt out, "I'm sorry for calling you a Mudblood all those years ago. Will you ever be able to forgive me?"

"I already have," she says, "I'd forgiven you the instant I saw true and pure regret in your eyes. I'd forgiven you almost as quickly as you said it. It was only my Gryffindor pride that had prevented me from accepting your wholehearted apologies. I realized that, as humans, we all make mistakes."

I am trying desperately to hold back my tears. Here she is, my best friend and the only woman that I have ever loved. Here she is, dead because of my failures, and yet, she forgives me. I muffle the sob that is threatening to escape my lips.

"I'm also sorry," I choke, "For not being able to protect you from the Dark Lord. I switched sides, gave my allegiance up for your safety, but it still wasn't enough to keep you alive! I've failed you, I've failed in protecting you, and even with your son, I feel as if I'm in way over my hea-"

I stop speaking abruptly when she tries to reach out to me. I feel a wind and a certain sense of coldness whisper past my cheek as she is unsuccessful in touching me.

"You're not real," I say sadly, a devastated man.

She whispers, "No, I am not."

She tries to run her fingers through my hair ( I recall suddenly that James had always made fun of it) but she is once again unsuccessful. She backs away from me slightly, the sadness in her eyes hardening into a strong conviction.

"But there is something I want you to understand," she says, "I don't want you to think for a minute that my death was your fault."

I don't believe her. I can't believe her. But she continues on.

"The night of my death, Voldemort gave me the option of standing aside. His goal, after all, was only to kill Harry."

I am breaking, I can feel it. Tears are escaping my eyes rapidly now, tears that I have held prisoner behind my cold demeanor since the night of Lily's death.

"But it was my love for Harry that made me stand in his way. To me, my son's life was much more important than my own. I willingly sacrificed myself for him. If there is anything to blame for my death," she finishes, "it is my foolish ability to love without boundaries."

The moment those words escape her spectral lips, I know them to be irrevocably true. Kind Lily, gentle Lily. She had only ever shown me kindness. Me, the awkward, poor, oily-haired boy from Spinner's End. Me, the struggling teenager who made all the wrong choices. She had always understood me. And she might have loved me too, once upon a time. Suddenly, I feel long-lost words, desperately, desperately forming on my lips. I need to tell her-

"I was always in love with you, Lily, did you know that? I'll always _be_ in love with you! No matter how much time has passed, I will never forget my love for you!"

For the first time tonight, Lily's ghost is shocked into complete silence. The headmaster's office is deathly quiet in the wake of my untimely confession.

"I-" She begins, "I-"

The doors to the office slam open suddenly, and I jump. The stone slips from between my fingers, and Lily quickly disappears.

"No," I whisper, "No, no, come back, Lily! You promised you would be here for me as long as I wanted. You promised."

No, she can't be gone. She can't leave me what was she going to say to me I can't live without her-

"Good evening, Severus."

Albus closes the doors behind him. I cannot bring myself to look him in the eye.

I am too undone.

Will he dare ask me what the matter is?

I remain silent, my head bowed, as I chase away the last of my tears. _Lily, why?_

I hear the headmaster's footsteps as he approaches his desk. I chance a quick glance at him, and when I follow his line of sight I notice immediately that he has spotted the stone on the floor.

I wonder if he will ask me who it was that I saw. I wonder if he will bother to respect my shredded boundaries, my privacy. A few moments pass, and I have my answer.

Albus turns away from the desk, away from me. He is giving me time to put myself together again, I realize. He expects that in a few minutes' time, I will be completely alright, face cleaned up and robes rearranged, having a cordial tea with him. He expects that I will discuss with him earnestly his own plans for his death, as if nothing had occurred to me in the hour prior.

He expects me to wear a mask of refined civility because he dares not disturb my privacy with probing questions. He thinks he is doing me a favor by letting me keep up appearances.

"Severus," Albus says after an extended period of silence, "I daresay the tea will be ready soon. Would you care to join me on the couches?"

Life is all about boundaries.

We keep people that love us away, push them out of our lives for the sake of protecting them, or perhaps, for the sake of protecting ourselves.

I pushed Lily away with cruel, hurtful words because I was afraid of her infinite capacity for understanding, her boundless courage and love. I was afraid that I didn't deserve it.

I pushed her away, also, because I was afraid of what my fellow Slytherins would think, and afraid that James and Sirius would never stop bullying me if I continued to be her friend.

Because I was a coward, I distanced myself from her, and locked her out of my life. She was dead before I even had the chance to fix my mistakes.

If others make the same mistakes that I have made, then let one fact be known:

They, like I, will be forever alone.

* * *

><p><em>Fin.<em>

* * *

><p>How was it, guys? Please drop me a review to tell me what you think! :)<em><br>_


End file.
